So Close, Yet So Far

Years ago, it was typical for family to live near one another.  The home where you grew up was the base, and when you married, you  would live in that same city, sometimes in that very same neighborhood.  The extended family was a wonderful network of support and love, gathering for birthdays and graduations, cousins growing up together as close friends.  Somewhere along the line, that tradition changed for many.  Maybe it was the job market that called to another city, or the sense of adventure that enticed one to leave the familiar behind and move to a new part of the country.  I grew up on Long Island, and as much as I enjoyed living there as a child and through college, I never considered staying.  Being the youngest of five, I saw my older siblings move from New York to places like Texas, Maryland, and California.  We are a close family in heart, but not necessarily in geography. 

Bob and I moved to Atlanta soon after marrying and settled down near one of my sisters. We enjoyed the low cost of living and warm winters. We shared holidays and barbecues with my sister and her family, and it was delightful...while it lasted.  A few years later she and her family were called to move to Florida and we stayed in Atlanta, eventually moving to a neighborhood where we became very close with a group of friends.  They became our surrogate family and our kids were as close as cousins. 

Another job change for Bob led us to Indiana.  I left Atlanta heartbroken. As a full time mother, the friends who share this experience are your lifeline to sanity as they help you survive long days in the trenches with infants and toddlers. I remain very close with these dear friends.  That bond is very strong, and distance does not diminish my love for them.  We try to see each other a few times each year, meeting in Nashville for a girls weekend or I visit them in Atlanta, and leave with a lump in my throat and thoughts of one day returning to live there.  We email and call, send Christmas cards with family pictures.  It is not the same, but it is what we can do, and I cherish the friendship. 

It took time, but we have made a home here and found other good friends.  One of my sisters lives in St. Louis with her family and we have been together for many Thanksgivings and Christmas mornings.  It was nice to hop in the van on a Friday and be at their house less than five hours later, sharing a weekend and be back in time for Bob to be at work on Monday morning.  Sigh... I just found out that she and husband are moving to Tampa, Florida later this summer.  Another transition for us; we will be holding down the fort in the middle of the country. 

I hope that one day we can all live close to one another, choose a place to retire and live only a bike ride away.  How fabulous it would be to settle down in the same community all these years later.  I picture us sitting on the beach in the evening, enjoying visits from our grandchildren, and laughing at memories that families share.  Life is full of change.  But inside of me is a yearning for a return full circle to where we started, five kids hanging out together, if not under the same roof, at least sharing a zipcode.